Squabbles In The Name Of Progress

That blasted war of words that never fails to leave an unpleasant taste on your tongue, a feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach and overall crumminess. Because I'm no devil's advocate, I think it makes it harder to back off an argument. Someone once said that there's no point arguing if I'm wrong (unless I'm the devil's advocate - I stress again that I'm not) and that if I'm right, I don't need to argue. Now why didn't I think of that? You'd think, why don't most people? But there I was in a heated argument, knowing that somewhere in the recesses of my mind that I was arguing with someone who had no facts and was arguing based on thoughts and opinion. I wonder why I bothered. Perhaps if William McAdoo had got to me sooner and told me that "It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument", he would have saved me from feeling the negative aftermaths of an argument. Then there's Robert Owen's advice to "Never argue, repeat your assertion". Sorry Mr Owen, but at the expense of sounding like a broken tape recorder, I'll stick with Mr McAdoo's advice in this instance.

On a slightly more serious note, I think American journalist Sydney J. Harris was very astute when he said that "The most important thing in an argument, next to being right, is to leave an escape hatch for your opponent, so that he can gracefully swing over to your side without too much apparent loss of face". Often guilty of doing otherwise myself, I think the majority of us fail to realise the quintessence of Harris' words in our vain attempt to win an argument or prove a point. If each of us are able to fathom that "The aim of argument or of discussion should not be victory but progress" - Joseph Joubert, then maybe we'd be one step closer to attaining some form of peace and tranquility amongst today's nations.

That Doggone Life

It's a dog life.

I'm dog tired.

Vince Lombardi said, "I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted in the field of battle".

The battle ends next week.

I spot the silver lining.

A Polished Diamond

Life is always a race towards something.

I'm two miserable subjects short of hitting a home run and being awarded that piece of paper that will in turn, hand me the rest of my life. It's a race to the finish line. The thing with most races is that one is always so close yet so far. It is usually during the last leg of the race where weariness and exhaustion sets in. But with the finish line looming so closely up ahead and everyone else cheering you on, your adrenal glands seem to magically secrete an extra dose of epinephrine, giving you that last boost of adrenalin you need to cross that finish line because doing a devon loch simply isn't acceptable when one has come this far.

After all is said and done, I suppose only time will tell when the rubber meets the road after I hopefully and successfully receive that shiny piece of paper.

PS: If anyone's wondering what my title has to do with my post, someone joked that "College is a place where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed". And well... The author likes to think otherwise.

A Haven For The Feel-Good's

Alcohol is a dime a dozen for many who seek temporary haven in the face of complex situations, impossible predicaments and moments of sorrow or joyous celebrations. In view of this, someone once said that "Alcohol is the cause and the solution of many of life's problems". I think a moron could have figured that out. It would take a genius to grapple with its reality. But in that respect, I dare say many of us are combinations of morons and geniuses. Mignon McLaughlin said,"The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol". I hardly think many would beg to differ.

Frank Sinatra was a world renowned singer and actor. He was quoted as saying that he felt sorry for people who don't drink because when they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. I hope no one took comfort in that last sentence. Sinatra was manic-depressive and had an over-acute capacity for sadness throughout his life. I suppose that explains his "feel-good" demeanour.

I have always drank moderately "... For drunkenness neither keeps a secret, nor observes a promise". Well, that's one reason among many anyway. But even for those of us who observe this self-made rule, we falter occasionally. I woke up that morning and decided to be selfish to myself. I decided to flow with it and do whatever I felt like doing when the moment called for it. They say the flesh is weak. In that instance, I was weak. By nightfall, I was weaker.

Terry Goodkind said, "The worse you are at thinking, the better you are at drinking". The author vouches that she's better at thinking. She will therefore healthily practice the former and lay off the latter.

The Moment: Blink And You'll Miss It

Crunch time.

A decision was made.

Some of us live life on the edge of our seats. We love the spontaniety. Some of us are planners. We take comfort in the fact that we've planned ten steps ahead of others, weighed all the possible outcomes and cross-checked them with all the possible consequences. The impulsive are generally able to make snap decisions while the planners... Well we make plans... Before coming to a firm decision. Planners plan because any decision made now will affect a future outcome. Ian Wilson once said, "No amount of sophistication is going to allay the fact that all your knowledge is about the past and all your decisions are about the future".

I'm a planner. At least I think I am. I don't think I plan ten steps ahead though. Maybe not even five steps ahead. Perhaps just three steps ahead. I think at some point, everyone makes some plan. Or something that oddly resembles a plan. Why? Could it be because someone once wrote, "For tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today"? So we make plans for the future, and worry about it hoping we don't get an anxiety attack, while others see fortune tellers or palm readers to try and predict what their future might be. We go through the motion hoping that all that time we spent planning will help us avoid gloomy aftermaths but bring us one step closer to realising that future we had envisioned for ourselves. We fear that our hope has been misplaced. But "if you are afraid of the future, you don't have a present". - James Peterson. And since I'm living in the present, I'd want to "live" in the present.

I don't think anyone is actually living in the future they had envisaged because futures are rewritten over and over again every single time we make a decision. I reckon we'd all be doing ourselves a favour by taking Annie Lennox's advice - "The future hasn't happened yet and the past is gone. So I think the only moment we have is right here and now, and I try to make the best of those moments, the moments that I'm in."

Living in the moment, with my future held in the hands of a power greater than man, I am being fully present because that is the best guarantee for a bright future (Guy Finley). Since decisions have been made, we move forward. And we don't regret. Instead, we "Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only for wallowing in". - Katherine Mansfield.

Crunch time.

I made a decision.

It's a voyage that's homeward bound.

A Voyage That's Homeward Bound

In Hansel and Gretel by the Brothers Grimm, Hansel comforted Gretel and told her, "Just wait, Gretel, until the moon rises, and then we shall see the crumbs of bread which I have strewn about, they will show us our way home again". The story has it that they eventually lose their way but find their way home in the end.

I wonder how many of us have lost our way. I wonder if I've lost my way. Having spoken to someone today, questions demanding reasons and explanations for a decision I have yet to make, arose. Somewhere along that same conversation, it was agreed that life is a journey. Every decision we make takes us down different paths and reveals different doors. Sometimes, we make the wrong decision and in that journey we call life, we lose our way. Thats wretched. But what's worst is having lost the reason for setting out on that journey in the first place. Tonight, I was told that my reason for wanting to embark on this journey was the wrong one.

Crunch time is approaching. Would I decide to embark on that journey? Brendan Francis once wrote, "Some persons are very decisive when it comes to avoiding decisions". This is one decision I cannot avoid making.

Aristophanes once said, "A man's homeland is where he prospers". We all seek the good life. Oft times, our search takes us miles away from home. Every now and then, it is that venture that causes us to lose our way. In the end, if Aristophanes was right, it then follows that American novelist and poet Herman Melville, would be right when he wrote that "Life's a voyage that's homeward bound". Truth be told, I often find myself singing 'Homeward bound' by Simon and Garfunkel.

Last verse and chorus:

Tonight I'll sing my songs again

I'll play the game and pretend

But all my words come back to me in shades of mediocrity

Like emptiness in harmony I need someone to comfort me

Homeward bound

I wish I was

Homeward bound

Home where my thought's escaping

Home where my music's playing

Home where my love lies waiting

Silently for me

John Ed Pearce once wrote, "Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to". I think I'm growing old. They say home is where the heart is.

The author has yet to make a decision. But she reckons she will eventually be seeking solitary comfort in the words of Lois McMaster Bujold - "My home is not a place, it is people".

Mirror Reflecting Dreams

There were days when I used to lie awake in my bed dreaming. Other days, I'd pause in the middle of doing something to dream. T.E. Lawrence once said that "all men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible". Its funny how I can't remember the last time I did either. In my almost vain attempt to recall what I used to dream about, I wonder if my present lack of dreams could be due to my dreams having become reality; or if my circumstances have changed so drastically that those dreams can no longer be realised? Or have I merely lost hope in achieving those dreams? Could it be that what I used to dream about, now seem so far-fetched, illogical and outrageous that I unconsciously decided to cease dreaming?

"I have a dream" is the title of Martin Luther King's most popular public speech. His dream to end racial segregation and discrimination in the United States through non-violent means, made him the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize Award. While traces and remnants of racial inequity still remain strewn within the human race, Martin Luther King's dream that the nation would be able to live and not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character, has been fulfilled.

Jean Genet once wrote, "worse than not realising the dreams of your youth, would be to have been young and never dreamed at all". I'm going to start dreaming again; not pipe dreams, but dreams worth chasing - dreams that will ultimately shape the rest of my life. According to William Shakespeare, "the very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream". If you'd only give me a penny for my thoughts, I'd concur with Shakespeare because I think the shadow of a dream is imperative to achieving one's ambitions and attaining the success of one's dreams. I don't believe in luck. And I once heard someone say that success depends on a well thought out plan that's executed with precision. I couldn't agree more.

At the end of the day, I wonder how many of us actually stop to look at ourselves in the mirror, to ask the person staring back at us if we are the person we dreamt ourselves to be. Or have we grown into someone that we would have despised once upon a time? Perhaps the mirror reflects someone we could have been but by virtue of circumstances we could not control, fell short of that person? I wonder how many of us can look at our reflections in the mirror and reflect upon the lives we've led and still be able to stand tall and proud of the person we've become today. Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "dreams are the touchstones of our characters". I hope my mirror reflects the character of my dreams. Essential to retaining one's character, I deem it wise of the person that said, "chase the dream, not the competition".

Martin Luther King said, "I have a dream".

I have a dream.

God's Will, Us And A Drop Of Doubt To Invent A Future

I'm at that make or break point of my life where its time for me to call the tune. The thing is, I thought I already had it all figured out. Typically, to obtain some form of affirmation that one has made the right decision, one would seek the advice, opinion and thoughts of someone who isn't a barrack-room lawyer. Having done that, a shadow of doubt has been cast over my decision - a lingering doubt that seems to have made me fear the unexpected. Shakespeare once wrote, "our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt". I somewhat fear to attempt the decision I made. The poem below talks about God's plan for our lives and how we can accomplish our goals in His name.

A Prayer In Spring - Robert Frost

OH, give us pleasure in the flowers today;

And give us not to think so far away

As the uncertain harvest; keep us here

All simply in the springing of the year.

Oh, give us pleasure in the orcahrd white,

Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;

And make us happy in the happy bees,

The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.

And make us happy in the darting bird

That suddenly above the bees is heard,

The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,

And off a blossom in mid air stands still.

For this is love and nothing else is love,

To which it is reserved for God above

To sanctify to what far ends he will,

But which it only needs that we fulfill.

At times like these, I find myself wishing that I could just take pleasure in the flowers of today. I think this is Robert Frost's gentle reminder that we should be taking delight in the present and not fret and brood over the 'what ifs' of the years that have yet to come. When the time for harvest arrives, we would surely be able to reap what we sow into our lives today. However, what we reap from the harvest may not always be known. Thus, it is my interpretation that stanza 1 is telling us to live in the present and "in the springing of the year".

At the same time, I am not saying that we should not have a far-sighted view of what we want to accomplish in the future or how our decision today could affect our tomorrow or that we should do as we please with complete disregard of God's will for our lives; merely that Mahatma Ghandi once said, "there is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever". If things were not easier said than done but as easily done, I would take Ralph Waldo Emerson's advice - "Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it".

Summarising the last stanza of the poem, it is my two cents worth that the scenic and cheery atmosphere of the meadow that is humming with liveliness portray our love for God. Although we cannot fathom God's plan for our lives, our love for him will fuel us to fulfill His will.

The author thinks that if it is up to us to invent our future based on the decision that we make today and if Galileo was right when he said that "doubt is the father of invention", then perhaps a combination of us and a little bit of doubt would help us invent that future.

Calling A Spade A Tool To Dodge Putting Your Foot In It

We've all encountered our fair share of people who call a spade a spade. Some are pridefully and callously outspoken about their opinions while others cloak it under a joke. Sometimes, the jesters jests of opinions are funny and those that are listening in on the joke erupt with laughter. Although being funny, the joke commonly and tactlessly masks pointed and stinging opinions, much to the discomfort and silent frustration of the person being joked about. The wisecracker ought to bear in mind what someone once said - "a jest loses its point when the jester laughs himself".

While we are all entitled to our own opinions, we should be in agreement with Voltaire when he said that "opinion has caused more trouble on this little earth than plagues and earthquakes". However, if the tactless were to be more tactful, their opinions could still be voiced short of one's feelings and sensibilities being so insensitively disregarded. Oliver Wendell Holmes once wrote, "don't flatter yourself that friendship authorises you to say disagreeable things to your intimates. The nearer you come into relation with a person, the more necessary do tact and courtesy become". Of late, there is seemingly an increasing number of people whom we call friends that use humour and friendship as justification to jeer and tease. Friends that have probably never come across what Jean Cocteau wrote - "tact consists in knowing how far to go too far".

As a parting note, Pearl S. Buck once wrote, "praise out of season, or tactlessly bestowed, can freeze the heart as much as blame". It isn't just the delivery of an opinion that one needs to be tactful about. Indeed, tactless praise to all intents and purposes, equate backhanded compliments.

The author's opinions are as such, conveyed as tactfully as she saw possible. Should there be any disagreements, the author urges you to concur with Voltaire. Hence, you may not agree with what I have to say, but you will defend to the death my right to say it.

Ruffles of Change

When circumstances and situations change, is it not naturally instinctive for us to adapt or readjust certain facets of our lives to adapt to that change? If we are propelled into a whirlwind that will unassailably and undoubtedly cause things and people to be susceptible to change, does anyone really think they can out-whirl the whirlwind by refusing to orient themselves to that particular change? Is it reasonable to expect an aspect of a friendship between people not to change when something heavily correlated with that friendship changes? When we realise the need for a change within ourselves because we experienced something so significant that it changed the way we think and look at things, is it acceptable to deny ourselves of that change simply because we fear the unfavourable scrutiny of others.

John Steinbeck once wrote, "change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass". For those of us that fear change, perhaps if we concede with Arnold Bennett when he said, "any change, even for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts", the sooner we would be able to come to terms with the uncertainty and vagueness that burdens that little wind and stealthy perfume of change.